Silver Water- Kind of late but I wanted to write about it...

Blog 6: What writing techniques does Bloom use to create and maintain tension in her story? How does she pull you into the narrative?

Amy Bloom uses several techniques to create and maintain tension in her story including her use of dialogue, tense, syntax/diction, and foreshadowing. Her use of imagery also creates such a concise image of setting in our head, that as readers we are more emotionally invested in the story because it is as though we are there and are witnessing the plot unfold ourselves, or at least that is how I read it. Right from the start, Bloom uses beautiful detail about Violet's sister that is almost enchanting.

 "My sister’s voice was like mountain water in a silver pitcher; the clear blue beauty of it cools you and lifts you up beyond your heat, beyond your body." This is by far one of my favorite lines in the whole story; it creates an image that no one would think to imagine and right off the bat that Violet thinks very highly of her sister. But then as we read further, the dreamy, idealistic "fantasy" that the speaker spoke of completely changes.  This shift in tone/drama creates tension and made me anxious to see what happens next. In addition, Violet started speaking of her sister in the past tense, which led me to believe that Rose dies, so I was waiting for it. I began to feel really bad for Rose as the story progressed and it seemed like her conditions were gradually worsening, the whole time I remained on the edge of my seat waiting for something really bad to happen and finish Rose off. It was as though Roses' condition was deteriorating right before my eyes. There was this constant build up of tension, stress and unfortunate events, tied together with superb detail and imagery, that made me emotional, which is silly because this is a fictional story (I think)

We started to get to a more calm place when Rose speaks of driving to the zoo and recalls Violet being scared but would then pick up the pace right as things began to relax and finally we see Rose die. I was anticipated her death obviously right off the bat, but because Bloom made Rose seem so real and described her/spoke of her through Violet, her beloved sister, I grew attached and her death hurt a little. So thanks for the heart break Amy.

- XOXOXOXO
Gossip Girl
Just Kidding

Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been

This story was so much fun to read, besides the fact that I have an overreacting imagination and I live in a big creepy house all by myself. The tension in the story is something that I wanna copy in my own work because why I was reading that story I kept looking outside my windows to make sure there wasn't a creep parked outside my house.

After doing the dialogue assignment and then going to read this story, I felt like my dialogue was too dry. All of Oates' dialogue added all the right elements. Oates was able to add the right amount of rising action not just through her characters speech, but with their actions and facial expressions. It helped make the story feel more real to read and kept me wanting to read more. That is how i want my dialogue to be as interesting as Oates because at this point mine sounds monotone.

Just the all over creep factor in this story had my skin crawling. Especially when Arnold starts to call Connie "honey". Then as he gets more aggressive with her I could feel my anxiety boiling and I was hoping that Connie would run, grab a knife, and kill him. And I was so angry that she left with him! It was like she wasn't even trying that hard to fight back from his mortifying advances.

Excusing my rant and getting to the main point of this blog, Oates ultimately creates an ongoing tension throughout the story using scene and dialogue. Oates's dialogue carries the drama by lowering the tension to a snails' pace and then slapping it in our face exactly when the reader needed it. All of this was found through the body language of the characters and how they addressed one another from the beginning to the end of the story.

7. "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?"

This story was so creepy. It also probably did not help that I read it when I was alone in my room late at night. I have to say, though, that it is because it was beautifully written that the story became so creepy.

I think that after discussing dialogue in class and trying to write it myself, I have a new appreciation for some good dialogue in a story. In "Where Are You Going..." the dialogue creates so much suspense and tension. I was on the edge of my seat as I was reading the back-and-forth lines between Connie and Arnold. It was so impressive to me that a lot of the lines of dialogue stood on their own. When I was writing my own dialogue, I was trying so hard to focus on setting the context for each line, whether the character whispered or yelled, and what the tone of his or her voice was. I think that Oates was able to set up the scenes in this story so well that by the time the dialogue rolled around, I was already immersed in exactly what was happening.

We watch the tension build as Arnold's statements get more and more aggressive toward Connie. He starts by offering her a ride in his car, then starts calling her "honey" and saying that he will be her lover. If that would not create tension between you and a total stranger who has shown up at your house when you are completely alone, I don't know what would.

Ultimately, I feel as though Oates initially created an atmosphere of tension by setting the scene. She added a lot of rising action so that I was really just waiting for something to happen. For me, the tension heightened a lot when Arnold's smile fell and Connie could tell that he was an older man (talk about stranger danger). Then the dialogue carried the tension throughout the rest of the story. I almost felt as though there was just a really high-frequency note being held throughout the entire story, and I was just desperate for the tension to be broken.

"Where are you going where have you been?" Blog

"Where are you going, where have you been?" by Joyce Carol Oates was a story that had tension building up throughout it, whether you noticed it or not. The beginning where Connie talks about how her mother favors her sister and her father isn't around much makes me think that the story will be centered around her family. The author didn't have to go into so much detail about her family in order to explain why later on Connie doesn't want to attend the barbecue, there didn't need to be family history for that. But she does. I guess that is maybe to build up some tension in the home and within the family, so at the end when she says "I will never see my mother again" its a little more touching.
The first bit of tension seems to minute when the rest of the story has been read. When Connie and her friends are running across the street to the restaurant where the older kids hang out, my first thought is, is somebody going to get hit by a car? Then when Connie meets Eddie and he says he wants to take her to a movie and she leaves her friend and he says "she won't be alone for long", I almost don't trust him in that. It makes me wonder if he will either take her and do something horrible to her, or hold her captive and not have her back by 11 like promised. But he gets her back safely so I know there must be something else. And when Connie sees the guy with the slicked back hair and gold car, I know that he is coming back into the story again. The tension starts to build up faster when he shows up at her house, but then Oates brilliantly builds up the tension even more by stopping the tension, when they are just standing by the screen door having a conversation; this is when readers just want something to happen. First the conversation is pretty relaxed, but then it starts to build up tension in itself when he reveals that he knows her name, her family, where they are, how long they will be gone, and all her friends. The fact that he squints into the distance and describes her family makes me think he has some weird superpower or something. And what about his creepy friend that never talks except to say "do you want me to cut the phone cord?" And the rest of the story from there is just all tension, he's threatening her and her family and to burn down the house and encouraging her to come outside and to not call the police or else he will come inside after her. And the end of the story has the reader just wanting more tension as Connie is left weakened and he has led her to him.

Joy Carol Oates

 “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates
Blog 7: How does Oates create and maintain tension in this story?

There was an overwhelming amount of tension coming from Oate's in this story. We see even after the first line when the speaker introduces Connie that there is some kind of tension, backstory or perhaps mystery behind the name that we do not yet know of. Are they enemies? Friends? Why did the speaker use the word "was" instead of "is"? 

We proceed to monitor the dynamic between Connie and her mother- a rocky relationship so to speak, and between Connie and her sister. When I first started reading this, I was expecting a corny, yet modern twist to a teenagers life. But as I continued to read, I picked up on this buildup of foreshadowing and details that all made sense in the end. The tension levels kept rising as we are introduced to Arnold and hearing of his dangerous, sketchy demeanor. As soon as I met Arnold I knew something bad was going to happen to Connie- but only because Oates did well in conveying that underlying mystery/threat of danger that came up as the story progressed. Even his name is a red flag. Arnold Friend? Right when we meet him, I knew he wasn't going to be a "friend". I felt really shaken by the end because there are men like Arnold all over the world and victims like Connie who are threatened by these kind of people. 

Needless to say, I was stressed the entire time because I needed to know what happened next but then at the same time I was scared for Connie and didn't want to see her die, especially by rape/murder. That's an especially sensitive subject in this day and age for women Connie's age. 

Will I ever trust another person ever again... Probs not.

Edwin Unzalu 

April 21, 2016

R.I.P PRINCE

INTRO TO CREATIVE WRITING

PROFESSOR GRONER

OATES

I tensed up with Connie's seemingly normal life without knowing what was to come. First of all WHY IS JUNE STILL LIVING AT HOME? Girl, you GOTS to move on with your life. Two, mom needs to stop coddling June because home girl needs to get her life together... and why is she all dressed up for a barbecue... girl... no... it's gonna get hot! Anyway, furthermore... Mom needs to stop talking to her daughter like she's a petty teenager and teach her about stranger danger. Where is Dad? I though American's loved the family unit... Dad... get it together. Anyway, Oates is pretty sneaky with the tension at first I was like... no wonder I'm feeling tense I'm reading about every kid growing up in the suburb ever. Go to the mall, talk about boys, "oh look a boy looked at me", then go back home, then back to school. So you are made to feel like the tension there is is familial and mundane which makes it hit you all the harder when things get real. 

I WILL say this... If my child ever rolled his eyes at me when I told him she was coming to a barbecue with me... YOU BET THERE WILL BE TENSION... his face will be ALL tensed up after I'm done slapping him. haha Just kidding, love and reason is what kids need... 

Anyway, back to Oates. I KNEW something was up when this guy just shows up in his car at her house when she's alone. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY EPISODES OF CRIMINAL MINDS I HAVE SEEN! TOO MANY! First off, Why is she letting her hair dry out in the sun... girl that's gonna mess up her roots! Second, if someone ever came up to me and knew my name, my family, my social security number, my horoscope and my credit score... I would... AT THE VERY LEAST... question it. So yes, I felt the tension. This girl got kidnapped! Her father is NOT Liam Neeson soooooo... Yeah. This has me on edge. My door is locked. And I will probably NEVER trust anyone EVER again. I hope Gabrielle is reading this blog write now... Gabrielle... from now on any and every move I make I am sending you my location. Also, here is the codes of emergency if I am ever on a date and I need you: 

Code teal: Girl, this guy is ugly

Code Blue: Girl this guy just gave me a fake name (HIS LAST NAME IS FRIEND?... NAH) 

Code Red: Girl... this heifer wants me to pay for this dinner... 

Code Gold: Girl, this boy said he's voting for Trump come pick me up. 

Code White: Girl, I love you... tell my grandma I love her... Make sure they bury me in spandex. 

Well, to end this um... therapeutic blog, which I have used to lighten up all this tension. I will say.., i enjoyed this story but really... that was crazy. 

 

Oates' "Where Are You Going"

Joyce Carol Oates’ short story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” is filled to the brim with tension and discomfort. The first indication that Oates gives us that this story is going to take a wrong turn is the discovery early on that our main character, Connie, is stuck in a strained relationship with her parents. Her mother’s criticisms of her and general teen angst lead Connie to seek out impulsive behaviors in order to escape from her home identity. Even in the plain, midwestern setting that we’re given, the discomfort between Connie and her family indicate to us that not everything is how it appears to be. Also, the idea that Connie can only escape her reality at night (in the dark) creates an air of mystery and suspense, especially considering that she behaves more recklessly than she would normally. The introduction of Arnold Friend into the story is eerie and confusing; he exhibits disturbing, predatory behavior in the parking lot where Connie first sees him and seems to disappear from our view until we meet him again in the afternoon that Connie finds herself home alone. In this afternoon scene, the story goes from tense to completely terrifying. First, the setting is completely in the light, indicating that nothing is hidden from us as readers and that our characters (namely Connie) cannot hide anything, either. It’s also a hot summer afternoon, giving us some sensory imagery that creates more tension for what’s to come. The image we’re given of Arnold is not clear, and it isn’t apparent if he is even human. His threatening words mannerisms send us and Connie to the brink by the story’s climactic scene in which she accepts her fate and follows Arnold out of the door into the unknown. This story absolutely shocked me. Even having read it a week ago, I still get the chills thinking about it.

Oates Blog

Honestly, Oates creates tension in this story from the very first line. The attitude behind "Her name was Connie." immediately throws the reader into a confusion and startles them with a tension between the speaker and Connie. The creation of tension in the first paragraph between Connie and her mother is one of almost jealousy between the mother and Connie. Oates presents the mother as jealous and sick of her daughter's beauty. Later on, Oates also presents tension between Connie and her sister, June. She does a good job of presenting situational and emotional tension without showing true occurrences. Just seeing how Connie's mother treats her creates an uncomfortable air for the reader, also implementing tension between the reader and Connie's mother.

Later in the story, the introduction of Arnold Friend creates even more tension in the story. In today's day, this situation is super tense and dangerous and the thought of it puts the reader in yet another uncomfortable situation. Knowing Connie's personality and seeing how Friend slyly coerces her into things creates a tension between who Connie actually is and who she wants to be. As Connie steps out further into uncertainty and more risky situations, the tension of the story rises, as the reader waits for a breaking point or for something dramatic to happen.

Oates does a really good job of implementing tension throughout the story, especially through situations. The reader becomes involved in Connie and her life, increasing the mystery and suspense of the story.

Where Are You Going...

I had absolutely no idea where this story was going when it started, but I was so uncomfortable by the end. As soon as it began, I immediately felt uneasy about what was going to happen. I thought there was going to be a big argument or fight between Connie and her mom or something way less creepy than what happened. I have to say that Oates did a fantastic job maintaining tension throughout the entire piece. I actually don't know if I would call it tension or stress or anxiety or what, but it was done excellently. I think building up Connie to have all these delicate, young features created a lot of sympathy for her, despite the fact that she clearly was deceitful in admitting that there are two sides to her - Connie and Home and Connie Anywhere Else.

Looking back at the story a second time, I should have immediately picked up on the fact that something horrible happened because the first sentence is "Her name was Connie." She was Connie. Not she is Connie. That first sentence connects to the end and brings the whole story full-circle, as well as alluding to the fact that Arnold Friend most likely killed her. As soon as she saw him at the drive-in diner, my stress levels increased significantly. It was very clear from the first time he was mentioned, when he said, "Gonna get you, baby," that he was going to be a major player in the story. Once he got to her house and began saying that he knew everything about her and her life and family, my heart stopped.

I think I had a really strong reaction to the entire interaction because I'm absolutely terrified of something like what happened to Connie happening tome. I was so shaken by the end that I'm honestly having a very hard time thinking about the story in a critical way.

Oates

Well, this story was pretty scary and made my heart stop. One way that Oates creates and maintains tension is through the idyllic beginning of the story. At first, I thought it would just be about Connie and how she would have some embarrassing yet typical sexual awakening. However, this story ends up being about her abduction and possible rape/murder, which was an ending that the reader probably didn't expect from those details about Connie's superficiality or her sister's dowdiness. Oates does an amazing job of fleshing out Connie's life that I was more engrossed by Connie's teenage exploits and was not aware of clues that hinted at the story's gruesome ending.

Another way that Oates provides tension in the story is the way that Arnold approaches Connie out of nowhere. We read about Connie playing around the house on a typical lazy Sunday, when Arnold knocks on her door unexpectedly. At first, he seems like more of a lecherous older man instead of a kidnapper. Then he slips that he knows more and more about Connie's life, which lets the reader know how truly creepy he is. Also the confrontation between Connie and Arnold is lengthy, which is pretty true to how those type of scary encounters feel in real life. They feel like they've been going on for hours, even if it's just been minutes.

I do have one question about the story though. Was the young boy Connie met and swooned over at the diner an accomplice of Arnold? Since the story was based on serial killer Charles Schmid who had high school accomplices, it seems likely, or it could just be Oates messing with us yet again.

Joyce Carol Oates Story

From the start, I felt there was so much description that nothing was occurring until we meet the man in the parking lot. He automatically causes tension and suspense because Connie doesn't recognize him and the readers never hear him speak in the first encounter. The mystery of this man looms over our heads. When does he come in? Why is he there? Will she fall in love? Is he her soulmate? Oates drives us through this story with an interesting take on dialogue. The entire conversation and all of the action happens in one place at one given time. It takes up more than half of the story. They are at her house, divided by a thin screen door. The long drawn out dialogue keeps the reader attentive because the scene, the tension never pauses. It has the occasional setting and detailed break wedged in the middle of the tense scene to make the scene seem even more drawn out, even more tense.

I feel as if the tension made the story so much more enjoyable because otherwise, I would have been bored. I have discovered that short stories need a shocking occurrence or a specific event to make the story easy and fun to read. If the story starts out like a novel would, the short story would be boring and confusing none the least.

"Where are you going, Where have you been" is an odd tale that keeps me guessing especially the title. It's in the form of two questions which makes me feel as if I am in the stalker's mind thinking about this girl he just glanced at in a parking lot. I also find it intriguing that Oates does not focus on the main feature or chooses Arnold's perspective for this story. She chooses the daily life of an average teenage girl and that's why I found it a bit lacking in the beginning, but she twisted that around quickly. I cannot tell if Oates wrote this title thinking of the questions that were popping into Connie's head when she saw Arnold or the other way around. Overall, this story gave me the creeps and it definitely made me nervous for Connie because I would never want to be in this scary situation especially for a young girl. It also made me nervous because of how drawn out the one scene in the driveway/kitchen was. Oates did a fantastic job on making the reader feel tension between these two characters and throughout the entire story.

Silver Water

Amy Bloom conveyed tension from the very beginning when she gives the story in past tense. With this already in place, the story already felt rickety because of its almost inevitable end. She gives us this fresh image of two sisters in a parking lot after seeing an opera where one is singing/screeching so beautifully that everyone applauds her. This innocent scene gives the readers false hope and keeps them wondering what happened to this amazing sister. The moment I learned Rose was mentally ill, I felt a looming rain cloud over my head the rest of the story because I knew that this must end tragically. 

Amy Bloom also chose one of her main characters to be a little off and that usually doesn't end well especially in drama on television. Using unreliable characters always puts people on edge especially if they don't know much about them or too much of their background story. IT gives the entire story suspense and a constant wondering that keeps you on your toes. Bloom creates a beautiful sense of these characters and this close knit family over years of their lives in a few pages. She uses lots of imagery that sucks you in from start to finish. I felt invested in these characters because they were so well portrayed and given so much character. The therapy sessions always brought out the most character from the family because the actions and words each one had created an image where I felt as if I were sitting in the room with them. Bloom also placed details like nicknames such as "Big-Nut and Little-Nut" which made the story seem more intimate and special. Once the conflict grew more saturated, the pace picked up. Bloom used a tactic of speeding up time by using surprising events in nonchalant sentences such as, "Rose stopped taking her meds and the halfway house wouldn't keep her after she pitched another patient down the stairs" (75). Time flew by and the inevitable ending creeps up so softly and peacefully. The ending took me a minute to comprehend because Bloom took death and made a scene like a faded, dramatic scene from a movie where the sad music plays over the dialogue and it fades to black. That's what I pictured and Bloom definitely wanted the reader to feel the tension of her death throughout the entire story so once we made it there, the death would be less painful to bear. 

And just like their names, Violet and Rose, the story went out with a beautiful image and a sweet smelling message, like flowers surrounding a death, celebrating the afterlife at a funeral. 

Silver Water

The suspense that Amy Bloom sets up through the vivid introduction of the piece augments all the events that followed. I really enjoyed this story because it often consisted of long, strung together thoughts with very vivid detail. I always appreciate when an author can perfectly paint the scene in my mind and I feel as though Bloom does this well. She progresses through the course of events of Rose's demise at a pace that I see as appropriate to the course of Rose's disease. Some parts were sped through and little detail was included with fact, while other parts were intricate and descriptive. This correlates to the course of Rose's disease because, at times, she was okay in the homes and centers, where, other times, she caused turmoil and trouble for her family and days trekked by like months. Bloom sets this up well through the narration of her story by using vivid details and an effective form of flashback. Moore introduces the conclusion of the story initially, forcing the reader to thirst for its fulfillment. The reader is satisfied, though sad, by the end of the story because all mystery is gradually resolved. I really enjoyed this short story.

Also, the title is really cool in hindsight.

Silver Water

The first thing that drew me in was just the fact that the narrator was reflecting/remembering the way things used to be in regards to her sister. It was clear that something had happened since the good times of the past and I found myself wanting to know what. I wasn't surprised at the end, as Bloom paced out the rising action of the story very well, so it was relatively easy to figure out what ended up happening to Rose. I think there was a very relaxed/calm tone throughout the piece - there was never a point where I was anxious or worried about what would happen. Everything felt slightly numb, which to me, felt like it was intentional on Bloom's part. Despite the fact that I didn't feel anxious or worried about what would happen, there was absolutely tension throughout. There was tension between the family and the various family therapists and between the family and Rose. It showed the difficulties of living with and loving a mentally unstable person. I think she just did a very good job of telling this story, and I had to continue to remind myself that it was fiction as I read it. The complexities of the characters and their reactions and responses to Rose and her actions made it feel so real and believable, as did the use of first person narrative. It made me feel like Violet was talking to me and telling me this story personally.

Silver Water - A Eulogy

Amy Bloom’s “Silver Water” read like a eulogy, of sorts. In the first sentence, it is revealed to us by our narrator that this story will be looking back on the life of someone who has probably passed away by the time we are reading it (based on verb tense). But as the plot unfolds, we see a story of both great pain and great love that leads us to an ending that we are at peace with, somehow, despite the death of a character we’ve come to know. 

Quite a few aspects of “Silver Water” create this odd tension between suffering and joy. Firstly, the story is coated with beautiful, colorful imagery that invited all of the senses (silver and gold voices, the espresso/cappuccino skin, etc). Especially in the more joyful sections, we’re given this imagery to remind us that this family and these individuals live lives in color, despite the obvious stresses that they endure. The narrator, Violet, picks these beautiful moments in Rose’s life to share with us, revealing her own nature, Rose’s character, and their family dynamic. 

Perhaps this imagery is what builds the most tension in the story. Rose’s meltdown in the kitchen is so horrific, not because she is “monstrous,” but because we have had the privilege of seeing her at her best. Not only does this scene startle us as readers, but we are quickly led back to safety by the image of Galen resting her head against David’s hip while drinking a hot cup of tea. Our narrator protects us from the harshness of this family’s reality by choosing to remind us of how much love they pour into each other. 

I believe strongly in the idea that we have the privilege of getting to choose how we tell our stories and the stories of those around us, which means that we have the responsibility to choose wisely. “Silver Water” reinforces this concept in my mind.

Silver Water

This story stayed consistently intriguing throughout, and I really appreciate that aspect about it. Especially in short stories, it can be such a small amount of space to make an impression, and this story really did that for me. I first felt tension when it is revealed that the narrator is looking back on her sister, and that this is how she wants her to be remembered. This really helped pull me in, because I was instantly ready to read on and find out what had happened to Rose. I was also pulled in by the idea of her family, as they all interact with the therapists. I found their sense of humor during the sessions to actually be quite warming; it gave a lot of good context about this family dynamic and I felt hope for the outcome. Also, I think the idea of a mentally unstable character is enough to pull a lot of people in. It is something interesting, that not a lot of people get to deal with or encounter on a daily basis, and I think it’s natural to be intrigued by those kinds of things. I absolutely felt the most tension when hearing about Rose’s antics in the hospitals, whether it was sex or throwing patients down flights of stairs. Although, perhaps it was more anxiety about what would happen next rather than tension, but either way, both feelings seemed to stay with me throughout the story. Which is also why it’s one of my favorites so far!

Silver Water

Bloom uses a calm tone throughout this short story. This voice lulls the reader into calmness, so when something unexpected happens, like Rose's first psychotic attack or her suicide, the impact of such events is much more jarring. Bloom's short paragraphs make the story move along quickly but create enough space for important events, so she is able to digest years and years of the family's history , which could be excruciating in the hands of the wrong author, into a very well-paced and readable story. Bloom's realistic diction is very akin to how a normal person would explain the events and makes this story seem like it could happen to anyone, anywhere. I loved the moments of humor in this story. They made the story so much more than a typical depressing stock narrative of a family attempting to deal with a mentally ill member and enhanced the realism of the story. The reader is also better able to relate to the story, since everyone knows that even in the midst of deeply unfortunate circumstances, funny stuff still happens. 

6. "Silver Water"

I have one word for this story, and that word is strong. This was a strong short story. It was strong in that it had intense imagery that captured my attention from the very first line. It was strong in that its characters displayed incredible perseverance, each in their own, unique way. It was strong in that it stayed beautifully articulate from start to finish. It was strong in that it stuck with me and nearly brought tears to my eyes at one point.

I believe that one of the most important things that short story writers can think about is making their pieces strong like "Silver Water." In short stories, a writer has a limited amount of time to really sell what he or she has to the reader. I kind of see short stories as "make it or break it" moments--all you have are a few pages to give the reader something memorable. "Silver Water" was so memorable in the way that it really gripped my emotions.

First, I was so struck by the image of Rose's singing voice, like silver water. Then, I became sad as we watched Rose's mental health break down through the eyes of her sister Violet. I found a couple of humorous moments in the family's visits to psychiatrists. Finally, my heart was broken by the difficulties that the family faced because of Rose's return home from the halfway house. I found that I was not extremely saddened when Rose died. Since Violet was speaking in past tense from the beginning of the story, I was kind of waiting for it to happen. I found the ending to be more poignant than sad, and overall I thought that it was really the only way that the story could have ended.

Overall, "Silver Water" was fascinating to me because of the style of writing and because of the way it appealed to my emotions. I feel satisfied by this story--even though it was fewer than ten pages long, it made its way gracefully from a strong start to a strong finish. That's how I believe any solid short story should be.

Silver Water

"Silver Water" by Amy Bloom was the first story I've read in a while which has a character who is mentally unstable.That was the first thing that pulled me in, starting with the line "she had her first psychotic break when she was fifteen". The second paragraph subtly build up to that revelation with lines like "that's the story I told to all her therapists..I wanted them to know her, that what they saw was not all their was to see." and "To me, Rose...was perfect." What I like is how Rose is not depicted as having no individuality but as just a set of symptoms,like mentally unstable people normally are.  It is clear that she a sense of humor and wit to her and even though living with her is hard for her family, it can also be enjoyable and funny at times, like with the therapists,which is the reality of living with a person with a mental illness.  Tension is maintained in a large sense throughout the story starting with Rose's first psychotic break, the many different therapists they visit who don't know how to deal with the family, Rose going on and off her meds, the best therapist dying and her reaction of not taking the meds and getting kicked out of the halfway house, problems with the insurance company, Rose's next psychotic break involving the piano, and finally her suicide. Of course Amy Bloom puts some lighter scenes in the middle so it's not too much for readers to handle and so it doesn't get unpredictable. For example, Rose and Addie's choir scene, joking to the therapists, finding the right one, and Rose agreeing to take her meds in exchange for the car. Without these there would be so much tension that the story almost wouldn't be tense at all because there would be no balance. But throughout the story, I just wanted to keep reading and see what would happen next, because there were so many ups and downs I wondered if there was hope for Rose or if her ending would be somber, and that surely pulled me in.

Sea Oak

"Sea Oak" is definitely a story I can say that I have never read anything like before. I appreciate that there weren't cliches or a story that I have heard over and over. I enjoyed the wacky weirdness of this story and how it kept climbing towards an even weirder story. I love stories with crazy magical realism-esque plots. The writing specifically didn't have any defining qualities for me. It didn't add anything to the story, although that could have been the point Saunders was going for. The writing could reflect the characters and their crappy lives and then Aunt Bernie comes in and the writing continues mirroring this family. It felt very average which is fine because the plot twists kept overpowering the writing anyway. I had no attachment to the characters whatsoever and I never felt like I knew them which I presume is difficult to convey in a short story, but still. Aunt Bernie was the only character I could picture in my mind. She was very distinct and I feel like everyone knows that kind of person in their family. The imagery was hard to picture of the narrator, Min, and Jade because I felt as if they were one-dimensional in their dialogue. Although the dialogue and writing were not my favorite, I still loved the plot.

I can say that the ending was very impactful in how it ended so suddenly. I wanted to know what happened and if they ever gained their "less crappy shit hole of a house." I really appreciated that the characters just went through a traumatic occurrence with one of their relatives and then life went on. I felt as if I were a part of their family because I knew the secret they were hiding. Where as the beginning and end would seem similar to an outsider of this odd family, the reader could feel as if they left this story with a secret and they could take the line, "Some people got everything and I got nothing" and ponder it for days afterward.

Sea Oak Review

I don't even understand what this story is, or why it was written in the first place, but I loved reading every line of it. The characters and their personalities struck me as incredibly unique. The tone and diction of the piece was also accurate in creating a grimy, dirty, Vegas style strip club. At times I could almost taste cigarette smoke. Saunders also did an excellent job at revealing the setting and characters gradually, which in turn created a hook that lasted throughout the piece.

In response to Aunt Bernie's character, I almost got the sense that she was a post-information age decaying Oracle of Delphi. Her character spoke the unspoken but needed truth, which allowed readers to see the cracks and flaws in this story's society. Through her dialogue, and her mechanic in the story, I was able to see where that society made monumental mistakes with their values. By having her fall apart in response to the events of the story, the reader was given an indicator as to when they should feel "off" about certain things. For example, with her head, shoulders, and nearly all other appendages in her lap, Aunt Bernie's second dying words were "Show your cock." Am I the only person who finds this as odd?

If I were to read this story maybe one or two more times, then I would probably have more collected thoughts on this, but until then the only one left in my head is simply "Wow."

Extra Credit: Sea Oak

I meant to read this story in two sittings. I was extremely tired last night, so I told myself I'd read half of it before going to bed and finish it in the morning. I ended up finishing the story last night. I had to know what happened next.

"Sea Oak" was, for lack of better words, an insane story. What even is this place? The entire story seemed to be an exaggeration--over-the-top characters like Min and Jade, over-the-top jobs like the one that the narrator has, over-the-top plotline. By the time Aunt Bernie had risen from the dead and was yelling orders while her body parts were in a heap, I wasn't even surprised anymore.

I keep trying to think of what the deeper meaning behind this story is. I feel as though all this hyperbole had to be so intentional that Saunders was trying to send a larger message. When Aunt Bernie the undead kept yelling at the narrator that he should "show his cock" near the end of the story, I was especially on the lookout for any larger social messages. When Aunt Bernie came back from the dead, she was bolder, louder, and much more animated than her former, boring self. It seemed as though she was finally taking on her own identity. I would have thought that she would've told the narrator that he should quit working at Joysticks altogether, so it confused me when she was encouraging him to basically degrade himself for money.

I guess what I am struggling with is figuring out the reasons for everything. What is the purpose of Min and Jade's babies? Are they only there to add to the chaos and financial struggle that they are experiencing, or is there a deeper meaning? Do we ever even learn the name of the narrator? To be honest, I might have missed it in the craziness of everything else. Overall, I am interested to see where our class discussion on this story will go.

Sea Oak Review

Deanna Thabatah
April 11,2016

As I started reading this short story, I was really confused. Joysticks? Shirts coming off? Thomas's tush? Then it dawned on me that Saunders has decided to start off his story in a strip club. I have to say that is a first for me. If he was with me right now, I'd give him a clap on the back for originality.

I do have to say that I am thoroughly enjoying the dialogue style between the characters and the dialogue that speaker has with himself internally. He does a very good job, providing characterization for all of his characters in such a limited time/space. Saunders addresses the dynamics of the strip club at first,which I found really entertaining, and gives us a look at their scaling system. I particularly felt pity for Lloyd, who now is a "stinker".

When I first started reading, I wondered what brought the speaker to the club in the first place.
The story was very odd and humorous at times but inevitably brought up the reality that life isn't always perfect. We were introduced to Min and Jade who unfortunately are ignorant, rude, and frustrated with the positions they are stuck in. Their family seems really broken. Aunt Bernie's living a poor quality life, the grandparents died (And grandpa left all his money to a girl no one in the family knew), Min and Jade are unsuccessfully studying for their GEDs our narrator is a stripper, etc.

Aunt Bernie's death really threw me off. It was very sudden and not enough backstory/ foreshadowing was given. I feel as though this story has a lot of potential and a lot of writing left. Saunders could have taken this plot further, but I understand the limitations of a short story. However, I had a lot of questions that were still left unanswered by the end of the story that made me really confused. Whether or not Saunders meant his readers to be confused is unknown but in my opinion he could've elaborated some more.

This story has the potential to be a movie.

Sea Oak Reflection

I really loved this short story. Saunders manages to create story that is both cleverly funny and incredibly unsettling. I really loved the punny name of the male strip club, "Joysticks". The short story was full of small instances of humor like that. I giggled out loud when Jade called Bernie an "optometrist" when she meant to say "optimist". Growing up in a less wealthy part of town, I thought Saunders' description of their derelict lifestyles was pretty realistic. Additionally, the petty squabbling between Min and Jade is pretty representative of the type of infighting I would see in the families who live in such cramped conditions. I can see that many people would think that Bernie's crudeness after her resurrection was out of the blue, but I actually see how it makes sense. I can seen time and time again stressed matriarchs finally lashing out at their families after decades of neglect and abuse. After raising generation after generation only to see your descendants remain in the same lazy and ignorant ways, you would have a lot of pent up anger. Why not express when you've been mysteriously granted resurrection and telekinesis? I'll be thinking about the ending of this piece for a while. I wonder if Troy will really die and if the narrator ever made enough money to go back to school by exposing himself. Truly an odd and somewhat emotionally scarring story.

Sea Oak

Sea Oak was a very wild read. My initial reaction was an odd feeling of discomfort and intrigue. I really enjoyed the concept of our narrator making his way in a strip joint; I do feel that the "broke character who strips for money" can be a bad stereotype, but this story really just shook up any expectation I had by the end. Also, throughout the entire plot, I sort of felt myself viewing our narrator as the one, constant, likable thing that I could cling to and be taken through the story. When things would go from bad to worse (to worse...to worse...), I really found myself waiting to see how the narrator would react; he became a sort of companion. That was really special to me, to have an instantly likable character take me through this insane plot. I also initially knew that I was not the biggest fan of Min and Jade as characters -- however, I find it great that almost all of the information that I know about them came from their dialogue. I felt that I very rarely was being told who they are, but rather they were showing me through how they communicate with each different person in the story; they were also very consistent characters, regardless of who they were around or talking to, and while I found that to be very reliable, I also wished for some diversity in each character. They were very interchangeable, in my opinion.
I was also endlessly intrigued by how F'ed up this plot was. The spooky aspect was entirely up my alley, and while crude Aunt Bernie back form the dead was quite off putting, I really appreciate the turn this story took. Despite my uneasiness, I was always interested and kept turning the page.

Sea oaks

So I started reading this story and was surprised. I can safely say I never read a story that started in a strip club. And a male one at that, quite unique. The most bizzare aspect of this story are the characters. They are definitely not smart and their reactions to everything is very weird.

  Then the whole Aunt coming back to life! It was such a twist that I had to read twice to let it sink in. Once that happened, I actually had some hope for these people. Before they looked like they are going to be stuck in that life for good. But once Bernie came back and started talking about the future and all the powers she has, the story just turned a completely different direction. It was a story element that felt critical since when she came back cursing and yelling that showed how much remorse she had in her life. That was the very soul of the story,Aunt Bernie.

"Sea Oak" - What Just Happened?

George Saunder’s short story “Sea Oak” threw me for quite the loop, to say the least. Upon finishing the story, I was hit with sadness. I began thinking about all of my older family members that had died and inserting them into this story. How did this very strange, morbid story do this very strange, morbid thing to me? 

There are quite a few things that Saunders does well in this story that make it so jarring. First, he perfected all these characters in such a limited amount of space. Min and Jade are selfish, crude, and all kinds of other words, but most importantly they are ignorant. Saunders shows us that it isn’t their educational ignorance that makes them so awful, but their emotional and situational ignorance. Then there’s our narrator, who seems caught in this cycle with his family that he has clearly tried to escape from, but has ultimately failed to free himself from. And, last but not least, Bernie-the loving aunt who comes back from the dead to bring some much needed havoc in this family’s life. It’s interesting to think of how we come to see her as this maternal figure for the smallest moment before we get dead Bernie, who leaves the strongest impression upon us as readers. The characters built in “Sea Oak” strengthen the sense of hopelessness that this story brings because, ultimately, they're all pretty hopeless. 

Another successful element of this story is the tension. Saunders gives us this bleak setting of Sea Oak, Wherever, where the residents and workers seem to be doing about as well as the place looks. The tension is heightened further by the plot that unfolds rapidly, giving us little time to comprehend what is going on. Part of what drives the plot forward so quickly is our limited view from the perspective of the narrator. As readers, we’re as surprised and flustered as he is because his view is all we know of this situation. Between these things, the bickering sisters, and the disturbing image of dead Bernie (not to mention the things she says) are unsettling, to say the least.

I feel as though this story deserves a stronger analysis, considering how complex it is. However, this is just me making sense of some immediate thoughts after finishing “Sea Oak.” And I'm still lost.

Workshop Reflection

Workshop was a great experience. The idea that stuck out to me was letting go of your baby. I had lines in my poem that I was in LOVE with and when I got all your comments back it was clear that what was clear to me and what was straight forward in my interpretation was not for the majority of the audience. I learned a lot reading all of you guys' poems as well. I enjoyed many of them and suggestions that people received on their poems helped me in my editing process and will accompany me in revising my packet. I appreciated all the support and helpful critiques that you all as peers offered. In looking at your work I saw things that I do that may not work and things that I don't do that would work wonderfully. Overall I think it was a great learning experience!

I think it was affirming to see other people grasp with their voice, their subjects, their styles. I enjoyed all the different perspectives we surveyed through each other. I appreciated the variety and diversity we have within this group! It was also incredibly clear to me that writing takes a lot of compromising with yourself. Sometimes what you want is not yet polished enough to write, sometimes what you consider your favorite part of your creation merits its own poem. Thank you so much for your reactions and affirmations and critiques on my poem. I appreciate y'all!

Best,

Edwin Unzalu

Workshop Reflection

Overall, I had no strong feelings about workshop. I am uncomfortable writing poetry, so I came into workshop with an already distant perspective. I do not feel any better about writing poetry. However, I do think I have talents in creative non fiction and argumentative writing, which we will hopefully cover this semester.

My favorite moments in workshop were with Professor Burgess. He was able to deliver criticism in a way that still felt uplifting and considerate. His comparisons of the students' poetry to the work of established authors made one feel as if they were actually part of a literary tradition, instead of goofing around in college (not saying this is a statement on the actual course or Dr. Groner, I am merely describing the lackadaisical attitude of college students).

I think there was good criticism at points, but I felt like there could have been more objectivity present. I felt at times that people's criticisms of others' work were based more on taste rather than on knowing the craft. Things like that make me withdraw, since I hate to criticize others' work due to very hands off approach.

I would actually like to experience another writing workshop again, if there is a greater emphasis on objectivity and that everyone is made to speak with equal time with no one or few people dominating the conversation.

Workshop reflection

I thought workshop was a great opportunity to redefine what poetry really means. Poetry does not have to have a rhyme scheme, or sound nice, or make sense, or be sweet and censored; just as "love poems" don't have to be sappy but can be angry, sad, or have mixed emotions. Poetry does not have to stick to one speaker, tone, or mood-fluctuations actually make it more interesting. I think that hearing other people's poems, people who each have their own thoughts and feelings about similar things, was such a privilege because you don't always get to help others with their own writing process and get help with yours. Worshipping showed me how many different paths I could take in my one poem, and helped me to see how many different paths others could take in my opinion and in the others classmates opinions. It also showed me that their is no right and wrong way to go in poetry, understanding, relating and liking is subjective to each individual. Also, in almost every poem, there was a theme or line that anyone could relate to. The language of poetry is not always understood, but it is universal.

Workshop Reflection

In my brief writing career, this workshop (one of two) has been the best by far. There were a few things I really enjoyed over the past two and half weeks. The first was the intimacy of the workshop. I liked how workshop was a space for all of us to share our work in a comfortable and safe environment, and furthermore, enjoyed receiving all of my peer's honest feedback. Unlike in the other workshop I had done in high school, I felt that there wasn't any dillydallying or wasting of time. Each persons feedback written on my poem, and spoken verbally, genuinely wanted to help improve my work. And even cooler, it was this way for everyone. Although I sometimes lagged a day to get my written revisions back to their authors, I felt very motivated to make sure the feedback I gave to my peers was honest, understandable, and helpful.

When Dr. Burgess came to teach two class sessions, he had us move the tables closer together, so that we would be face to face with our peers. I thought this was awesome because it just felt right. It made perfect sense. If we were all going to be sharing honest, personal opinions about each others honest, personal work, why wouldn't we be closer together? It was as if we were a family passing around delicious written delicacies prepared for this English A211 Thanksgiving. While that might sound "shmoozy," its genuinely how I feel. As a class, we have grown closer together through this workshop. The reason why I care about this is because I will most likely be taking the same classes with these same people for the next 3 years to come. The closer we get, the better feedback we can give. All in all, workshop was an awesome experience, and I look forward to the next one.

Workshop Review

Workshop Review by Deanna

I have never been apart of a workshop before much less for poetry, which ironically happens to be my least favorite form of writing. I was really glad my poem wasn’t chosen to go first because I wanted an opportunity to see how the process works on someone else before it was my turn. I was overall pleased with the outcome for the first week of workshopping. Everyone who participated brought to light very good points about each poem and the individuality of each person gave for a diverse array of opinions on each person's poem.  I thought it was really helpful to have read the poems before we came to class ready to workshop it.  I already had an idea of what I wanted to say/ review prepared before the person read their poem so it was overall a really efficient process.

As I read my poem to the class I felt very exposed and vulnerable. I am glad that I one of my  lighthearted, wittier pieces to workshop rather than something really deep and personal. I was overwhelmed with satisfaction as I read the reviews I received on my poem. Everyone in the class, not just for me but for everyone else, was good at giving constructive criticism as well as commending someone's work.  I found my critiques very helpful and encouraging. Initially I was really scared everyone was going to tear my poem to pieces but there was a very good balance of critique and compliment. Kudos to the class. Everyone was fairly honest but gentle. I also liked that we didn’t rush any critiques. They took as long as they took. I appreciated the time everyone put into the workshop.

The only thing I would’ve liked to see more of, which may not be possible and that's okay, is to have more participation of the poet with the class with more interaction. During my critique I tried to stay quiet as best as I can, but I did have specific questions and commentary to make that I wanted to bring up during my workshop session but I refrained from saying them.

I’m glad I finally got to experience what its like to be a part of a workshop and I regret not doing something like this before in my other english classes. It would’ve been extremely helpful.

Workshop

To me I've found that workshop is like ripping off a band-aid: do it fast and it's not as bad as it originally seems. Though I was extremely terrified to read my poem to a class knowing that I am not the world's best poem, it was better than I originally anticipated. It's not that I expected anyone to be ugly to me about my poem, I just expected a lot more negative criticism rather than positive because I did not have faith in what I brought to the table. But after hearing what everyone had to say and voicing my opinion on what others brought to the table, it's a little bit freeing. Like a weight was lifted or something along those lines.

My Thoughts on Workshop

Coming into this workshop, I vaguely knew what to expect; I had taken a Creative Writing course in high school where workshop was a major component. However, this workshop experience was definitely a deviation from what I was used to (in a good way, of course). My main fear coming into this was that it would be one big festival of positivity and rainbows where we weren’t gonna be totally honest with one another. I’m really glad that I was wrong. I feel as though the feedback I got from everyone was useful and genuine. I was forced to ask new questions about the piece I wrote that I probably wouldn’t have been able to ask otherwise. I was also glad that even with the criticism, no one just sat there crapping on everyone else’s work. (So, thanks for being cool, guys.) This workshop experience also made me feel more comfortable sharing my work with people. When it comes to writing, I shy away from criticism, which is both totally understandable and totally silly. Gaining more exposure to this type of criticism would be beneficial to me in the long run, though it may seem a bit daunting at first. 

If I were to give advice to anyone about to enter a workshop such as this one, I would definitely recommend going in with the expectation that your work will face some heat. This isn’t a bad thing, though. Hopefully, if someone is volunteering themselves for this kind of critical experience, they’re entering with the hope that they’ll be learning and growing from the experience. I’d also recommend taking the criticism from the workshop and applying it to other pieces that they’ve done. Part of the beauty of a workshop experience is how we get to examine our writing style in a broader sense to see where we can improve overall as writers. Therefore, I’d tell someone to take the same criticisms that they received on the poem, short story, etc. that they had critiqued in workshop and see where they can apply these comments in their other pieces of writing. 

Workshop: The anti-depressant

An author was once interviewed about writing in general. A quote from him that I can't forget is, "Every book I publish, I die a little inside." I can't rememberer the author name but the quote has stuck with me for a while. It paints a bad picture of writing for me. And a lot of people in my life agree. That to be an artist, means to be depressed. That's not something I want to accept as an inevitability.

 Workshop has shown me what I need to improve on but most importantly that people actually really enjoy my work. This fact, I believe, every writer should constantly remind themselves of. I kept all the notes on where I can improve on from everyone that I agree with but I also kept all the kind and encouraging comments people left for me. I kept those so that if I ever feel like my work is shit, I can be reminded that there is someone out there that loves it.